well, sorry tat i din blog for so long. thanks to those who still come to my blog to tag. thanks guys. w/o u guys, i guess i dun have the point to keep my blog alive. thanks again...
right guys. just a post here tat i wanna post up. coz i think it can help me calm myself down. if u dun wanna see this, by all means. i nv force u to see it. and dun ask y so small it's meant to be lidat.
why. why do i always have to land myself in such troubles. i always thought: if i had never met you, maybe i woulnd't feel this sharp thorn pricking every single part of my flesh, making it bleed. but yet, sometimes i dun dare to think like that. `coz i'm scared i would lose you. yes. i dun care if i know you just for one sec. even for 0.01sec i get to noe u, i treasure u. treasure. MY treasure. not the dictionary treasure. as in.. i mean... my treasure no one will understand. and i duno how to tell u guys.
i know, everything is my fault. regardless of whether you are just someone i know for ages or just for a short period of time, everything seems to come from me. Every trouble; i caused. i'm sorry. i hurt you pple coz i'm selfish, i dunno how to calm u down, etc. eveything is my fault. even failing my task to morning call pple IS MY FAULT. if u din tell me to morning call u, will it be my fault? if u din even noe me, WILL IT STILL BE MY FAULT?? even when sometimes, pple asked me to call them to chat on phone. i called. and i was blamed tat i wasn't talking OH COME ON for god's sake. u ask me to call and expect me to talk. y not u do the talking? in 1st place u find me is to chat wif pple or izzit to let pple entertain you? u din state it rite? and when i din talk, u blamed me for it. i like to be quiet cannot meh? i dun wan to tok, onli wan to reply wad u sae, cannot meh? my fault again lar?
sometimes i was wondering. did i drown myself in my own tears? did i kill myself with my own knife? or rather, did i get bitten my my most beloved dogs? did i get eaten by piranhas that i feed wif good food everyday?
hais. wad's life? i find all troubles myself. i'm to blame. pple can sae : [ORBEE] yea, orbee me lor. it IS my fault to befren pple so easily and in turn, get hurt more easily. its all my fault i get hurt. its all my fault tat i cry coz of the pain.
i brought everything to me. i brought happiness to myself. but i brought even more sadness to myself.
not wanting to go out with u, my fault. mom dun let me go out, u pester me tat i dun jio u out. din morning call u, u angry. i dun tok, u angry. i did wrong things and i din change, my fault. and when i decided NOT TO CARE anymore, i feel my heart breaking. so wad can i do?
i have no choice. or rather, i do have a choice. and i chosed to keep this frenship; and suffer for the rest of my life. i dun mind, coz u're my fren.
i guess i'm onli seeking attention. mayb i was good to u all coz i wanted more frens. coz i wanted more pple to share happiness with me, AND not to blame me for things i din do, did bad, or watsoever. i wan you coz i wan happiness! not pain;sad;sorrow;unhappiness,etc. i'm also a human being. i'm not god.
i have make so many pple sad and angry of me, unable to forgive me. but the greatest pain still befalls me den anyone elses. i pity myself(:
i find happiness, sadness find me. but yet, pple who care still brightens me up. and god saves me. thanks
i wanna thank all the pple who talked to me at times when i'm down. thanks fengheng kor, for sending me the christian songs... thanks huiming kor, for chatting with me and being so funny... thanks shino, for telling me what to do and saving me from my sorrows. owe u lots. thanks winston for trying to ask me out to dye hair with him. lols. i noe it was nth, but thx niwaes. thanks to penghwee, for reporting his life to me everyday(: and thanks to all my frens who were there for me whenever i'm feeling down. love u guys. thanks alot alot alot...
there are somethings tat i still wanna sae... but i onli got the mood to sae when i'm sad. right. tat means when i posted this blog, my mood has gone from bad to good. and the post is from my bad mood, wanna sae everything out,, to good mood, wanna sae it out nex time :D i shld have tot of this. i shld have write a post everytime i'm sad. hahas. tata guys. love u all. love Jesus.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:42 PM
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Qing Hui is my name, and they call me DAJIE.
I'm SunWuKong in a group called Siao You Ji , and it lives by its given name.
Being a Fuhua Choir-ian, i love music.
Born on 6thFEB1992. & currently, i've got 9earholes.
Waiting for the age to have a tattoo, i'm thinking of tongue piercing.
limqinghui1992@hotmail.com
