Wednesday, January 31, 2007
lalalahs.thanks people,i meant those who cared for me(:you guys rocks!stay by me, and i'll stay by you.it's a promise.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:58 PM
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
this is for myself. you pple dun have to read(:
tell me, who's heart doesn't hurt. there's meant to be obstacles in your life and you must be strong to overcome them. if you decide to run away from everything, there's nothing i can do. but you know what, running away doesn't solve anything. in your life, there's only one way, ONE WAY ROAD through your life. if you are not going to move forward, it means you are running away. and running away means running backwards. the more you run backwards into the past, the more pain you will feel. so isn't it better to move forward, overcome what is bugging you, and be more happy. come`on guy, not only you feel the heart pain. not only you wishes to run away. i wished to run away too; or rather, i even wish i could just stop at the path and never ever going forward again-and the best solution is to die. i know i can't die just like that. when it's time for you to move forward and not run away, it's now or never. it's up to you, i can't control. but please, you are making me feel so bad. maybe you could just say, it's totally none of my business, but hey, it's none of your business who i care for. i care for people on my own will. even if you don't want it, it's my choice of whether i should listen to you anot. you have friends along by your side to guide you, to share your problems with, because you have had brothers that share your woes and pains and joys. but i don't have okay... i may be laughing. but you won't know when is the time when i'm feeling so sad and hurt inside. i didn't want to show it, because no one will understand, and it's wasting saliva telling them. sometimes, i couldn't understand myself too. i want to die, yet i want to live. i want to live to make people happy, to make people smile. at least showing people that i'm happy but deep inside i'm so hurt, is a progress in moving forward, even a tiny little 1mm. it counts. at least i'm not running backwards.
if i can do it, why can't you?
is it so hard?
is it even harder than you trying your best to make me hate you?
don't try to do things that make me hate you. because i know, i won't. you meant too much. much more than what i expected, i suppose. i was shocked i even cried-foryou-last time. things may be unexpected. it's unexpected you came up with this idea of trying-to-make-me-angry thing, well, at least that's what i felt. don't make things worst. maybe your doings now is making me more obsessed to caring for you. Gosh, why don't you wake up. i know you have the rights to do everything. you have to rights to ignore me. you have the rights to ignore other people, but do u ever know how sad they will be? i know you want me to hate you or something, but ignoring me, and do all sorts of stuffs. if i don't, does that mean you will stay like that forever? are you going to run away forever like that?! fine, if you promise me you'll get better, promise me you'll be happier, i'll have nothing to say. i'll be willing to leave, just give me some time. a broken heart needs time to heal. it's been 1month, haven yours healed yet? i tried to forget everything and concentrate on studies, and even swore that i will not think about it ever again. but why? why can't i do it?! it's making my head; my brain burst. it hurts. it really does. but what can i do? i feel like shutting myself down, or rather, shutting myself inside this really really dark and small box, shutting me out from the whole world. i can't stop thinking. everything brings back memories. even if it has nothing to do with my memories, just a mere, plain, old song, makes me thinks back. and i will start to cry. it's not only you who had a broken heart. and it's not only you who had broken my heart. my heart's been pasted back again and again, ever since the 1st time it broke. i'm beginning to fear. fear a relationship. so i swear, i'm never going to get a boyfriend-forthetimebeing. i wanted to be less friendly, less sociable. OH WHY CAN'T I CONTROL. shit. bloody-shit. my heart gave way when making new friends. it broke down when i start thinking about the past. fine, since it's broken so many times, so many cracks remained, so no matter how i paste it back, the scars will still be there. and since it's such an ugly heart, then no matter how many times people break it, how many times i mended it back, it doesn't make a difference... right? oooooh, now i get it.
and there was once, you said we will remained as friends- goodfriends you said. but what now? you are making me confused. sad. depressed. end-of-the-world feel. this is NOT what a goodfriend means. this IS what a STRANGER means. fuck it.
i've got nothing much more to say. i'm going to read the dictionary next time, and profound my english. i'm going to make you all search the dictionary for the meaning. well, provided i have the time to read a dictionary...
went to evon's blog. it's kinda fun reading her blog you know... some posts are funny. reading dy's blog, u get to know what's up with her. reading different pple's blog, u get different impression. i don't even know if there's anyone reading mine. well, it doesn't matter. as long as you ppl tag, i'm happy. serious. y not i smile to give u a prove? = D
this week, there's test test and more test. oh oh oh! and it's a countdown! one more week! and viola~ my bday~ hehx. SooChing's gonna make me cake. wonder if i will go toilet =x rmb kays, it's one more week = 7 days = 168 hours = 10080 minutes = 604800 seconds ! start counting! (well, the times for hours, min and secs are not exactly zhun..)
and these days, i really felt so tired. hais...
samuel's been so cute nowadays(:
your hair is nice lahs, really. *wink.
i'm going to act as if nothing had happened.
pleasechange,youcandoit.
i will still act as if i'm happy, and smile in front of you all(:
RAWHS. i hate clipping up my hair,
you heard me, MDM PRINCIPAL?
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:19 PM
Saturday, January 27, 2007
came back from camp, didn't win the class cheer, sadd.. ytd, everybody was reluctant to go to the camp. allright, not everyone. SOME of the classes that were having camp ytd. before that, everyone was like cursing the P. How can she say the WE wanted the camp? Riot!! xDbut it was really idiotic. who the hell wanted a class camp. i hate camps, but i love to play with friends and create special bondings between classmates, and also, unite as one class; girls and boys mixed ( rather than gals with gals, boys with boys )... unity is strength!our cheer sounds like this:Early morning late at night,S3 charges out to fight.All united act as one,We will win the 'war' this time![We...will win the war! x3]One More Time~[We...will win the war! x3]One Last Time~[We...will win the war! x3]ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~S3!!~hahas. it was hard for us to rmb the cheer. it's new, well, at least for me... so i kinda forgot bout it. then we learnt the cheer, went for games and so. there was one station where people have to go up and act, then ur classmate guess what u acting. it was easy, but everyone was kinda paiseh to go up to act. then there was this hunting thingy. i mean, come up with groups of 5, den one grp will be the SearchTeam, while others all hide. aim of the game is to find all ur classmates in the grps back. the whole school was freakingass dark. the only clue to our hiding places were the light sticks. the instructor told us that, if we were to hear or see anything, pls not alert other pple, in case they couldn't see or hear, and u might be scaring them. this sentence actually scares me off. say until like tat, means sure, BOUND to have smth around de lorhs. get wad i mean? then they also tell the SearchTeam that any light sticks found on the floor meant that a grp was hiding near by. my grp was the 1st to get found. no fun~ and we were sooooooooooo bored waiting for the others in the canteen. it was scary, since it was like around 10+ in the nite when we played that game. DianYong was brave going into the toilets and opening doors to see if anyone's in there. praise the Lord! after that, around minutes later, the game ended, SearchTeam failed! x) we went to bath, and the time given was like, NOT ENOUGH! all crowding. while q-ing to bathe, i heard stories bout the study area and the toilet beside the Art room. the tales were kinda convincing i suppose, but yet unbelievable. someone in the SearchTeam claimed that she saw a ghost. ok, not one but 2 i suppose. her mood was like totally change, so i got worried for her. she looked so serious. it shocked me, but as she said she saw it, i can feel my hair stand. i wanted to ask where she saw it, but seeing her like that, i doubt she will reply me lahh... so i kept quiet. thinking bout it,,, which school never nao gui before?? LOLS. so is a matter of - to believe or not to.that night, i slept on top of Dian Yong. meaning i slept at the space above her head, don't think anyhow. then as she prayed, i listened (sorry i was rude), and then, AMEN. lols. she told me bout her story when she was converted to a Christian, and how the Chinese God kinda like punished her. she went thru alot of pain and suffering, but with her faith in God, she finally experienced God. pple said she was a depressed girl last year, giving her a nick called 'depression girl', but this year, she's like totally changed. she told me alot alot and alot, almost 1hr+ bout her life, God and such. thnks alot, Dian Yong! thanks for sharing ur story with me. and telling me all those things bout God. at 1st i tot u hated me, and so you didn't really like talking to me or smth... i kept trying my best to talk and smile at you, be friends with you. & altho i felt tired, but i really wished i could continue listening to ur stories. they touched me, they amused me, excite me, and of course, i kinda envy you. hehe. i can't be a Christian, nor can i be one behind my parent's back. `coz they sure will find out... so, my church friends was like, telling me to pray, and they too helped me pray. yea, so as i was saying, i would like to continue to hear you tell me more stories. haha... IF ONLY THAT `CHER DIN WALKED IN YTD NIGHT... this morning, woke up early, and it's like i only had 4hrs of sleep. well, played games, i was in badminton. damn malu coz duno how to play, or rather, where to stand to serve, all that. so.. aiya, lose lor... captain's ball we won 1st.Samuel's so sweet(:thnks for patting my head everyday x)&& we will see how it goes on Monday.i'm waiting . . .
♥ the world will turn WILD.
3:21 PM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
ARGH.
it's been a really bad day after school.
SO PISSED! oh my. i'm like, every blog also saying 'PISS PISS PISSED!'. but, really lahs, so damn angry. and this time, not only i am angry...
what are we angry about? bout Choir of coz. i shall not voice my opinion here. in case SOME people not angry. i'm not offending anyone. but it's really not not not fair. people, DON'T join choir. coz now i finally realise, with YOUR fines and ur stupid ideas, it made us sec3 `07 pple SODAMNPISSED. in case u dunno, we've been cursing YOU for like dunno how long. we complained, we swear, we cursed, we grumbled. yes, u will suffer, i tell u man. my mom's gonna call you tonight. and u better be able to answer all questions. you weren't like that in the past. u were such a nice person. until the day u bcame a so-call-higher-rank den u are like, OMG, sh*t. hey come`on, u are not a `cher, u are merely a leader. u din... alright, i said i shan't say anything. but i guess some would have got a clue on what i was toking, and WHO I WAS REFERING TO. don't think u leader or anything den u great. i noe u are higher rank, and i know u are OLDER too. but who cares. standing beside the `cher, u are nothing at all. NOTHING. and in fact, u are like making us all sososo don't wanna go choir. man, u're spoiling all our mood. i'm gonna repeat this again, choir suckss. u made it seemed as if it's a SO moneyface-d cca. goddamnitcan. u're spoiling it. i know u want make us good. but... u're actually making it worse. lower sec all so innocent, dunno anything. wait till when they get tired of choir and come late and get fine-d, i guess they may also gif attitude and complain and swear and even get irritated. by then, they shall know what we are all feeling now. walao.. i can't stand it man. u dunno piano, u dunno conduct. what else u noE? u onli care about the results of choir, nv think of HOW TO MAKE THE RESULT GOOD. so many opinions and vulgarities and unhappyness, i shall not voice out. coz i dun wanna create ONE LONG POST TO SCOLD YOU. a very long one. AND so, meaning i am be good. BUT i HAVE THE RIGHTS TO PIN YOU DOWNDOWN&&DOWN. we're not ur slaves. we dun have to listen to u. i have the rights to gif attitudes.
peiying, dun angry le, dun piss le. one day, we shall rebel. &&choir shall fall. bwahaha D: and also, is not we wanna give attitudes. is they MADE us do and give it. they are such suckers.
peacetoeveryone.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
8:06 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
was pissed off ytd.
it wasn't any better today.
gosh, MYworldsucks.
what's gonna happen next?
what bad thing's gonna befall me?
i'm getting tired and sick of it, man.
i'm tired of living.
Mr. Lim cam today to talk about UFOs and Aliens, then all the way till the dunno what bermuda triangle. i love his lessons. coz we all will go crazy listening to his stories, be it real or not. it's cool. and he really reminds me of Mr.Bean... and he's damn funny.
alright alright. i know i am vulgar kays. when i'm pissed off, get nothing else except a 'black face' from me. don't blame me, i'm trying hard to change. or rather, i wasn't even trying. this is my character, u can stay outta it. u dun like it, neither do i. i wanna be cheerful kay. but YOU pissed me off. what can i do? who dont get angry? i do scold vulgar when i am angry. i cant control.. u are not me, u dunno wad it means by really controlling lah. when one is in a DAMNIT angry mood, wth can control his/her temper? u tell me lah. u tell me to change, coz ltr make pple dun like me. REAL FRIENDS or pple who know me well KNOWS i scold for fun, and when i angry. alright. i can cancel out the 'for fun' but who knows what i can do to the 'angry'? when one is angry, u think NOTHING ELSE but cursing the person who pissed you off. if that doesn't goes well with u, or tat made u feel what-so-ever-the-feeling-is, then sorry lah, this is me. if u don't wan me to scold u, angry u, give u attitude, den U BETTER DUN PROVOKE ME. AND U BETTER DON'T GIVE ME ATTITUDE. who dunno her work very stress? THAT'S the job she have to handle wad. count me as heartless, but who cares her. piss me off is piss me off. her work is her work. it's none of my god-damn-it business kay. if i myself dun wan to change, be it. dun come TRY to change me. i may even be pissed off by u, BE IT YOU ARE MY MOTHER FATHER SISTER FRIEND OR SENIOR. sorry i noe i'm rude. but i myself dunno what i can do when i'm really pissed and angry. maybe hold a chopper around?
be scared of me! bwahaha D:<
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:44 PM
Friday, January 19, 2007
ah ya, i forgot to say. today, waited for Sharlynn to fang ke. this 'supermarioteacher' of her class's is like so good larh. won't scold de leh~ then i was like standing at the window there loiter around, he also won't mind de leh~ then somemore i was talking to waiseng lorhs. waiseng ask me bout his worksheet and talk talk talk to me. but he like dunno anything or wad... ANDANDAND. i ask waiseng if he will scold, he answered that even if he walk out of the class now, the teacher also wun scold. wahhh~ the funny thing is that waiseng cannot rmb his name i think. he wanna ask the `cher smth. then he:'Mr. er...er...er... Low'. LOL. i kept laughing lah~ ROFL. can't even rmb his name, somemore still MR.ER...ER...ER...LOW. (well, actually i cant laugh at him. `coz i myself dun even noe my `cher name =x but he shld have called him teacher rather then Mr.something mah...) WaiSeng super funny can! then the bell ring. waiseng so fast pack finish liao. then he demostrated to me that he can come out of the class without getting scolded. really lah, that supermario never scold leh... then i push him back, AND imyselfwentinsidehisclass=x
then waiseng went to lend hp to call pple at the back of the class. the `cher walked to the back after waiseng put down the phone. i was sitting at the back of the class, there got extra 2 chairs, so i sat there waiting for sharlynn. i heard him tell waiseng:'my class haven end yet'. then waiseng was like oh, okay. then was asked to go back to his sit. i scared he scold me (of coz muz yi fang wan yi mah), so i quickly escaped outside through the back door. supermario stood at the front and said loudly:'just want to keep you informed that my lesson is still on. the bell ring doesn't mean my lesson ended. CLASS END!'
ROFL again. funny larh, him~ so jealous they got this `cher. i wan go waiseng's class!! after that when going home, met tiffany and adeline. they asked me if i want to go je eat. then in the end i went and ate KFC. =.=" i'm on diet you know. andd yet they made me eat it; since there's nth else to eat. then we joked around and gossiped =x
after that they tell me go take neoprint. ANDTHEN,igotaddicted -.-'''
i keep telling them, i dont want to take neoprint with my hair tied up, coz it sucks. so we all went toilet and let our hairs down. we spent SOSOSOSO much time in there lah~ lols. tiffany's having trouble with her hair. but anyways, after everything, we went to take neoprint. then there was this stupid idiotic girl at the neoprint counter. ATTITUDE us. i hate pple with attitudes. i think she attitude us `coz adeline keep pressing the bell, 'ting ting ting!'. but also cannot blame us what... we help her earn money for the shop, she give us attitude. and somemore it was HER fault that she wasn't at the counter. how can she give us her fucking attitude?! then after she exchanged money, she walked away. i saw her turn around a corner, then i naughty naughty, go press the bell. lols. i was so pissed. so i decided to make her pissed off too. i presspresspress. then adeline and tiffany saw me liddat, they all laughed. then ltr we went to take neoprint. finally. it was fun posing for the neo. i want take somemore. who want take with me~ =D
after taking, we decorated it. then later distributed it among us. well, i gotta say sorry to Sharlynn coz i was unable to pei her go home, and also pei her go buy bubble tea. sorry sharlynn!~
tml i going to do project with my new friends. wonder what will happen. will i have the same fun as what i have with my old friends? hahas. maybe will blog tml. deciding to go running tml too. with kelvin, who's so angry and pissed off today `coz he couldn't get the money he worked for. ohoh, and i going to work on sun, den after work go sentosa with JiaYong they all((:
x._h0orAys`%
Adeline, me and Tiffany.
i'm sandwhich-ed between both chiobu-s:(
why can't i be chio~
ohoh! and i was pointing middle finger. HEHEx)
oh and of cos, still got even nicer ones;)
♥ the world will turn WILD.
8:54 PM
stressed
depressed
DEPRESSION
oh guys,
i'mnothavingadepression! lols, don't see my hand like that then say i depression lehs. depressedpeople won't joke, laugh and have fun with you guys~ did i joke? did i laugh? did i have fun with you all?? = D i did! so conclusion is: i'm not suffering from depression. i've kan kai already. so don't worry for me kays. i think, what's the use of probing over it? it doesn't make what's lost to come back. So, why not smile?
&&D SO,
conclusion:
i'mnotokay.
i'mnotfine.
i'm-OKAY...NOT
so, h00rays`
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:47 PM
Saturday, January 13, 2007
today was the cca bazzaar.Choir had to sing in front of all those people, damn. I was not very nervous but kept going out of tune. VERY CLEAR, i went out of tune. oh no, not at this time! but, forget it. `cause i know, people in singapore-
guys: eeee, join Choir? so sissy... i don't want. i go join NCC/NPCC/SCOUTS/etc.girls: erm, i think i would rather join Band/ChineseOrchestra/ChineseDance.and so, only people who really loves to sing, who really haven the passion in music, and of `cause wants to join choir, joined. if not, it will be that the sec 1 join, then the friend follow. well, so i know, Choir no hope de. lols. not aiming low, but then, that's what people think what. so we all go "La-Ke" (pull them in). we don't have a choice right? we are in need of those juniors. &&D yet they all went to other CCAs.but yet, it's not really their fault. look at the canteen.the Band were playing those music so smoothly (i suppose), and so nice, of `cause they attracted attention of the kids right... so the sec1s' all stupid stupid go join band =x i have to admit their band uni is nice larhs! but then you guys don't know how tedious Band is. So many band practises, teacher so fierce. and, with Miss Lai there, wahh, hell lorhs.then there goes the Chinese Orchestra beside the band. they all shouting shouting, using a cone-shape like thingy that makes their voice louder. then giving out balloons, with CO written on them, etc. i also have to admit the costume is quite nice larhs, esp for the guys. and their song also not bad. i not sure bout their practises per week larhs, but then i know their `cher sometimes quite funny, sometimes quite fierce, and is strict larhs. and their songs all very olden types de i suppose. i mean, very china-rised. if you love China and you love those kind of china-china songs, and you wan join co, i have nothing to say, of course.there's also this lion dance thingy, and drums thingy.think girls cant join bah? i not sure bout it. shirt's nice nice. and performances are well done! bad art, tiring bah? hahas.then there was this wu-shu. quite nice, but then your punch and everything have to be strong i think. costume's always change, but is very nice. practises i dunno when, but then the teacher damn gay.oh, there's also this Chinese dance. the performance today was really cool=Dand mostly chiobu-s can. but the thing is that, guys can't join i think. costumes think also change change change de. dance steps' are nice. but you have to put make up also. and those kinda like ballet clothes, but is chi dance de. and the teacher is also that wu-shu `cher---a botak head look-like-gay `cher!then, how about badminton? they very high lorhs. hahas and also not alot of people. so badminton i don't know. their shirt is nice, the couch is from China, if he in bad mood, horhor. the thing is that their training also alot alot. and that very tiring de. alot of my friends wanna quit lorhs, but didn't. and choosing badminton as CCA, if you don't qualify for the team then how? this one i don't know. `coz for me, i was told to go in the nite session, and somemore have to pay $$. so i don't know for you all lorhs.and again, if you love playing badminton as a sports, i can't stop you from joining, but can also try track and field(:well, about other sports cca like basketball, netball, table tennis, etc. i dunno bout this larhs. haha (`coz i din even see where's their booth??) but basketball alot of tall tall people larhs, and maybe shuai ge lorhs =x and netball thing is always playplayplay. so shld be fun, if you loved netball.UNIFORMGROUPSthen we come to the Red Cross. Yawns, all like sot sot people like that. desperate for pple liddat can-.-" so DAMN HIGH can... keep shouting shouting. hey come`on, even the choir people also never use our mouths to SING, wth should you people shout shout shout sososo loudly, making such a commotion?! hurting people's ear can anot?! red cross. their uni not really very unique also what. same same thorugh-out. Zzz. right, i'm not biased against them ok. their training i don't know anything, and i'm not interested in it. good thing is, you can learn then save people. bad thing is that you have to learn to march. good thing is, you can march in the parade square and steal all the attention from other cca-s like choir=.=" and bad thing is, the uniform so white(easy dirty), you have to stand under the hot hot hot sun to march. poor thing. and also, like choir, red cross not alot of guys. oh and bad thing is, if you are afraid of blood, and will probably FAINT when seeing blood, then, PLEASE, join something else.then there's the scouts. alright, you can say i'm supportive of it. -wuzee helped me to promote choir.-wenjie told me when the training is -alot of my friends were inside sea-scouts -their booth was unique. well, can see that, i support them. Sharlynn even wanted to join them=D the time is every friday, from around 3pm or 4pm to 6pm; which is quite quite slacking! one week only one time! and like only 3 to 4 hours one week. and their uniform is so nice~ and the people in scouts all very cheeky de. and also! they will learn how to cook, have camps, learn lots`a things, and also have fun!! lols, AND~ this year, girls can also join! eeek, why this year then say??! but the bad part is, yea, they too have to build the cross thingy over and over again, they have to learn to tie tight tight knots, and they also have to march under the hot sun. AWHS.now, to the ncc. only boys are allowed. greengreen de. but alot of people join. and all they do is march march march, under the hot sun. then npcc lehx, both genders allowed, and i love their uniform. looked like police, dark blue, very cool. and GaoYan everytime wear it, i was like: wow, cool man. so nice... but all they do, is also march march and march, under the hot sun.*note: of `coz i didn't forget. people who were in performing group need to do well, to let the school be proud and well-known. people who were in teams for competitions, have to work very hard, to win! and uniform groups, have to march well, nice and proper, and also,,, POLISH THEIR SHOE WELL. and that means, clean and shiny.well, and also not forgetting the ava people. damn funny la, that Jeremy. he hold the mike and went round the whole canteen and places where sec1 people are, and keep repeating : JOIN AVA, JOIN AVA, JOIN AVA, ... ... ... LOLS. and when band playing the song, no1 can hear him, he turned on full blast and started singing along with the song: don't join the band, don't join the band. oh gosh, he's so humorous. the next thing is that he on the song using laptop i think, and started singing~people keep telling him to lower down the volume. he seems to be enjoying himself alot.oh, of `coz not he holding the mike and walking around. JiaJun and Sara was holding on and pushing the speaker following behind him. hahas. the good thing bout ava, (i think), is that very slack, and they are important people. hahaha. and they don't need to wear anything special, unique. but plain and simple, uniform or pe-tshirt. so shuang lorhs. hahas. go go AVA = DDi'm once again back larhs. hahas. today was fun and high. and i think i lost my voice. but then i saw him larhs. he came to help out in choir. i was having glances at him, see he got change anot. but, didn't want to speak to him.and yet, saw another him. was kinda slacking, sitting at the table and waiting for people to come and write their name. i didn't want to even look at him. i was afraid that i can't control myself. but then, i suddenly tot of smth. well dude, if someone asked you bout our relations or anything and said smth that hurt-ed you, making you have the urge to feel fan and to make everything goes so wrong, pls, do what you think your heart want to do. i can't stand it already. i'm slitting, cutting and dripping comes along. i'm not a kid anymore, yet i'm doing stupid stuffs. everyone's been leaving me, one after another. like what they say, the new one comes along and the old ones go. is that really true? if that's the case, can i keep the old ones instead? my heart's hurting, ya`noe. it's painful can. come`on. we were only like friends friends, only adding something special. an initial that i tot i can keep in my hurt forever. we weren't even back together after the break up in last last dec. but why does my hurt hurt? eh? i'm feeling weird. maybe there's something wrong with my hurt. maybe it contracted something that no one else can heal. guess i'll lean on to God and let time and God heal me. don't ask me to go pei other pple. i only want to pei you. don't tell me that i still have lots of friends, so it won't make a difference w/o you. that's craps craps and CRAPS. i'm making myself clear once and for all. once a friend, forever a friend. losing a friend = losing a part of my flesh, a part of my heart. not sms-ing or talking or getting into contact with you pple, DOESN'T MEAN that i've forgotten bout you guys. i noe my memory sucks alright, but not on the terms : friendship. whatever is it, memories are all kept deep in my heart. it's not meant to be forgotten, so i will not. i'm so troubled. depressed. stress. it's now not what you shld do. is what i shld do. what shld i do?? god-damn. i'm so tired.missyoulots.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:27 PM
Friday, January 12, 2007
heys, i'm back! today, rain damn big larhs~ i'm sosososo drenched. andd, fed up over the project thingy. talking over the phone with sharlynn and sooching, making me SO wanna scold the word:CHEEBYE.now no mood to blog lorhs. sis just cut her hair. hahas. look a little toot. and i went to my aunt's house just now, after i went jp. i drank lots of red wine, and i felt SOSOSO giddy, even by this very second. i'm been having lots of problems. i mean, not really problems, but just things that bugged my about in my mind. i can't stop thinking of them every sec. and every sec thinking of them makes me wanna cry. sigh. maybe i can drown my sorrows in beerWINE. a little msg to my you-know-who... maybe he ain't even reading my blog. but just wanna say, thanks for all those days when u were so sweet to me. i know, i know, that i know. Once school reopen, the bond between us will suresuresure become smaller. i knew this would happen, so i don't mind you letting my hand go. i don't wan you to feel trouble over it, i don't wan you to fan over it. i want you to concentrate on your studies. if letting go of my hand settles everything, then i will let you go. But i won't let it rest.. you did your part in the holidays,now it was my turn. Even if we went seperate ways, i will still stay as your Angel and protect you, watch over you, till the day i perish. i wasn't your fault that i slit my hand. it wasn't your fault that i felt depressed and stressed. it was all my fault. sigh. mayb i'll continue when i think of something to write.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
10:55 PM
Sunday, January 07, 2007
today went out with RC with alot of pple. we went alot of places, i don't wanna gif detail larhs. then saw how a person killed a fish, i mean: smash(times 5-7 times) , den skin the scales. oh dear, its awful. that
poor fish... after going to the outing, i went to cut my hair.
it turns out to be,well, not really what i expected. but it's still okay, except the frindge, which is like
shit. eeeeew. and my mom and sis said i looked more ah lian with this hairstyle. i am like so excited to let pple see and give
bad comments. hahas.. but now the problem is, i cant tye it up. so sure tio caught lorhs... and now is like, i no pin! AND AND AND... it's a disaster coz i dunno how to tie my hair. i mean, which technic to use to tie? it's like so short can...
look more ah lian, i like it. hahas, but...
now i myself dun even noe i shld like it anot.
yes?
no?
bleahx.
it's okay.
time let's hair grows(:
♥ the world will turn WILD.
9:44 PM
Friday, January 05, 2007
today's the 3rd day of school! and i on-ed my com since 4+ just to work on a post to blog. and it is the korea pictures i promised to post. yea ya`kn0w, my com lagggggggg~ den will very slow... den sosososososososo many pictures can! so you cant blame me for the slow production of the picture post lehhs~ but anyways, to waiseng: sorry i din keep my promise; ifeelsoguiltycan. OHMYJOSH, please dun blame me??
and also to all the pple who's reading my bl0g larhs, next time dun trust what i say. `c0z i sure break promise de. sorryssss:(
well, the 1st 2days was still okayy. i felt so tired. need to wake up so early.
imissedmyB-E-A-U-TYsleep!! argh.
today, saw ShiNan in the canteen in the morning when Sharlynn asked to go for a walk around the school. in the end we bought a small cup of coffee; and that made me feel awake(: ShiNan was like soshylah. keep hiding his face. i see him like tat i also paiseh to talk to him lehx. then later when i photo-taking, i saw PeiHan. i looklooklook, till he recognise me-.-" den we started talking, until it's my class's turn for photo-taking.
well, forgotten to bring my keys today. so have to trouble my ah ma to come my house open door for me.
hmmmm. i'm dieting now larhs. so anyone who knows good ways of slimming down, pls pls pls teach me? i desperate to slim down && grow tall lehss~ &&&&&&&& DON'T ASK ME TO EAT FATTENING STUFFS.
*beg-you*
i've got this tuition thingy started ytd too. b0redb0redb0red. n0w even less time to do my own things. and i guess i can onli online every fri evening. i need to pia my school work. need jiay0u! oh and the ss project, i hadn't been doing anything much. so i wanna thank soo ching and sharlynn for finishing the thing. and also may,, for helping too? and also to you guys, i'msorryididn'thelp.
i'm beginning to love math. oh no, is tat a good sign? but yet, i see pple do those sums so quickly, make me feel so stress to catch up. *gulps!
well, may all pupils study hard, andd get good grades! wo0ts!
*&&d may i finish the picture post asap=D
♥ the world will turn WILD.
11:18 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007
i'm back!today i kana jailed at home.i slept at 3 yesterday;was talking on the phone with Winston.He was so funny,telling me bout stuffs bout his humorous friend.oh my gosh,, it's really funny can!&& my sis din came back home till 7am this morning.so i was like, sleeping alone.luckily my dad came to off the lights for me.Woots!today i woke up only at near 4pm.lols,, yea i'm a pig i know.but i just enjoy sleeping.but missed SiewPing's 8 calls.[sorry!]so in the end she called me and told me that she had got me a flier job.1000pieces for $15.she got for me 3000pieces, even when i haven even said if i wanted any.hahas, but thanks anyways.she said she will confirm time with me tonite,but she haven call me yet.what happen leh?tml going play badminton.iamguilty.`cause i wasn't able to go cck with Ting Fang to play badminton with Jia Yong.he said it was too far for him to come all the way here to play,as he live in Yishun.wow. andd i noe for sure my mom wun allow me to go cck so far.so no choice, he not coming.so tml i play 2hrs with Ting Fang lorhs.Sorry to JiaYong!and also going shopping with mom, sis and aunties tml.not sure i going anot.coz siew ping haven tell me the time yet!!ahhhhhhhhhhhs!HOPESHECALLMEASAP!~i need the time for tml.if the time is like in the afternoon, den mayb i cant make it to go shopping...then my bag, shirt, etc, all gone,can't buy liaos.so,job or shopping?to earn or to spend?family or friend?URGH.toughchoice=x
♥ the world will turn WILD.
11:19 PM
BYEBYEto2006 ;;HELLOto2007! :Dhahas.a brand new year ahead,a brand new school life (i suppose),brand new wishes.and... what else?brand new friends...?xPwill be in different classes with my best 3 friends,who were with me through thick and thin.Sad.andd of c0zz, wishing all those pri.6 students who were promoted to sec1,to jiayou in their studies,, not pat-tuo w0rx =xand also to wish them all the best, enjoying their new environment and school life(:Now,, i'm like counting down all by myself.54321......hoorays?lols.had been to the countdown to 2007 celebration at the community centre.and the music there was damnitloud!so i can't take it and went home.oh man,, i wonder will those aunties and uncles go deaf,coz they all sitting just a few metres away from the BIG speaker;and i was like, moremoremore few metres away from the BIG speaker.the performances were like craps,, entertaining both the old and the kidsssss;NOTTHETEENAGERS-LIKEME.well, and for Ting Fang.hahas.before that, i followed her to expo for service.she went there for fun, oh gosh, she actually said that.i went there to enjoy myself and to entrust myself to God.i sing, i pray, i got excited. andd of coz, i was supercold&&freezing.TingFang went to the front, like what i did on sat.then we sang auld lang sye(izzit correct spelling?)and the guy beside me, whom i duno, was like singing as he put my hand behind my back.i wanted to do the same thing, but he too tall.so i just stayed there, both hands at the front =xKelvin was like, asking me after that, if i knew tat guy. i shook my head and he laughed.Hey, so what if it's strangers?the moment he put his hands there, i can sense the warmth of...of dunno what larhs, i duno how to describe.and he was like praying for me too(:hahas.after that i went to causeway point,to hunt for MeiYi's present.on sat, i went to watch movie,DeathNote2 and den ltr went expo for the service.after the evening service, we were told that sun got thanksgiving.so we need pick folded paper, and see who we chosed.i chosed MeiYi.and i was wondering what i could get for her.So during the huntingforpresents period,i went to the shop,forgotten the name, but inside all christian stuff.i bought a cup, intro-ed by the lady there.it was cute cute andd cute!a doggy and heartx heartx =DDuring the cgm,we introduce ourselves,sang,prayed,and guessed who's our individual Angel.(meaning the person who picked u, and gif u present, is the angel).i hope MeiYi likes my present.She said she was actually going to buy a mug too.&&D,,i was shocked actually.`cause i didn't think,my angel was actually Jia Yong, the guitarist.Actually his character reminds me of Daryl -.-"but he muchmuchmuch better((:somemore both of them also CHC de.andd,, also plays the guitar.O_obut well,i need to thank Jia Yong!for the wonderful present~hoorays for u=Dand also thanks to ShuYun and SiewPing,for choosing the present and wrapping it xDi guess JiaYong wasn't up to getting gifts for a girl? =xBut anyways, i enjoyed myself alotever since i was with my new friends here.So i thank God for letting me know them.And i was always touched by God. hahas.My New Year wishes:1) stay happy happy2) get good good results3) go on diet and slimslimslim down!!4) get a dog, omg@@@5) more friends=D6) wantmymomtoshutherfreakingmouthup!7) wantmymomtounderstandmemore>:(the last two was for my mom.she still treats me like as if i'm a small kid.i know she cared, but she don't give me enough freedom bah?i'm aready 14 and 15 next year,and still, everytime i go out late,pple will still send me home.and somemore she's stopping me from going out with my classmates who are boys.what's the matter? they won't eat me up right?!andd i always wanted to tell her one thing.Themoreshestopsmefromdoingthings,,,themoreirebel.againstme&&usuffer.i am serious.look, ever since a go sec2,and i want to do it my way,she stopped me from this and that,and stopped me from going out with friends, etc.i've had enough.i wished she could understand me more,allow me to go to church,allow me to be a christian.is it tat difficult?tat's how i want my life to be, that's how i love God, i want to be with him.and she, dun even think of stopping me.i wished she could understand me more,spending my times on friends and outdoors rather than stuck at home and play com.i get more joy outside ya`noe?she just don't understand me.i say one sentence and off she go, shooting tons of bullets back at me.merely one sentence, she used everything she could find to reply me, and that was nagging nagging and more naggings.one day, i believe,when i grow up,i'm going to show her,i can stand on my own.andd that i am not a 3yr old,and that i will get what i want, be what i want.peace out -And once again, a very happy new year for all !!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
12:01 AM
