Friday, March 30, 2007
i'm so du lan now. one moment, i can think of so many things to write. then the next, i forgot what i wanted to type. eh, i'm not du lan about this lah. it's just some problems. sigh... and my angry feeling now is making this post a bit 'rough'. so pardon me.
happy birthday to Julian! celebrating his birthday tml. woohoo.. and tell u guys what.. i think he likes someone. lol. i think he likes........ xxxx xxx. i shan't said who issit. and those who know, please keep your mouth shut.
and my mom just told me tat i can't go home late becoz she's coming home after 6. what the hell. and she complained that i always skipped choir. all i can say is, sharlynn also what... then she got nothing to say. shucks, i'm talking about sharlynn again.
i'm very pissed today. how much time will you actually take, to find a teacher to talk about your project? an hour plus plus? it wasn't even raining in the 1st place. if it's not for you who wanted to find the teacher, if it's not you who wanted me to wait for you to end your lesson and go home with you, if it's not for you, i wouldn't be waiting for you for 2long hours, just to go home with you in the heavy rain. i felt like a sucker. so pathetic. the rain got bigger every second and you are like, taking your own sweet time? i was waiting for you in 3S5 for so long, and you came back and use that not-so-nice-or-rather-an-attituded tone to ask if i going home anot. wat the fuck. i waited for you for the bloody two hours and you came back, carry your bag, and started to grumble at me for being slow, like you in a rush to go home like that. what's more, you won't even want to share an umbrella with me. fine, i did bring an umbrella, and i didn't use it, so? you didn't even ask if i wanted to share. you know how lazy i am. you know how the fucking lazy i am! but what did you do? you let me walked in the f big rain and you walked so slow in front of me. HELLO?? i'm umbrella-less! fine, i can't blame you, for it's me myself and i, who doesn't want to use my f umbrella. and you know what, this shows me what a friend you are. i felt so sucked up. why am i so stupid to wait for you for 2 hours, which i can use to type a happy blog rather than an angry blog now, and then let you reprimend me for being slow, and giving me the what-the-f-slow person you are look. hey gal. becoz of you, i had to cancel my meeting with ying jie to buy julian's present o k a y. and this made yj not so happy. and now, what do you know? all you know is you have soo ching to be there for you. same class, same lesson, whatever, whatver. what bout me? how about the outing tml? you didn't tell me earlier that you going out with sooching, and so will be skipping choir. somemore, you're going out with soo ching and leaving me out. what the hell? you didn't even ask me if i wanted to hang out with you guys. and your meaning is, expecting me to go choir all by myself. weren't i your friend? is this how you treated me? and when i hinted you to ask me if i wanted to go, what did you say? you said: aiya, you always got something on...
so what now? my fault again? so everything is my fault. you didn't even ask, how did you know i'm not free? i'm so hurt. i'm so hurt. i'm soooooooo hurt... oh, so that's the bad point for me being stupid. i'm so stupid that i got the grades that i was unable to get into the same class as the both of you, and that pulls our relationship further. i thought we could last. i thought we could last for as long as we want. but i don't think i can take it anymore. you have sc, may has leanna. i have no one. who's there for me? now, who's my best friend? i'm already very not happy with may. it's like we didn't even talk for so fucking fucking fucking long time. it's like leanna had just stole my best friend away from me. i kept quiet, i din say anything. coz i know i'm wrong if i blame her. and... coz i believe i still got you, i still got soo ching.
no more. not any more. i feel like ending everything. but i know i can't. i hate you sometimes. but i can't end it, i know i just cant. everything is so numb now. i feel so numb. is this really my life? who's my true friend?
what is a friend? tell me the bloody defination of a friend. if you say that a friend is someone who shares your problems and be there with you through thick and thin, i'm tell you, i have none. and that isn't the best defination. someone whom you just known for one day, is also called your friend. but he/she doesn't share his/her problems with you. so what is a friend? if a friend is whom you share your problems with, then what about a good friend?, and what about best friends?! does that means that your best friend is the one who's willing to die for you? if that's so, then what's a boyfriend/girlfriend? what's bigger than sacrificing you life to suit a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'?
everything is soso wrong. i'm being left out. left out by everyone. so, issit all my fault?
all i wanted to find, was a true, best friend. someone who treats me as his or her best friend, and not just a simple girl, a simple friend.
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sorry guys, i didn't know i just crapped so much bout my feelings. it's unbearable. tears... sigh. to think that i'm so stupid to believe that a friend is forever, that a friend is somebody who will be there for you when you need them, and that a friend is
someone WHO WON'T LEAVE YOU OUT. stupid me... sorry for that whole big paragraph.
argh, i don't feel like blogging anymore. i'll blog when i wanted ok. du lan. i hope, someday, i may just sleep, and never ever wake up. i'll feel much better, i suppose?
i'll upload pictures next time. i don't have the time now.
tags-ks: lols, i don't want. anyways, it's suppose to be small. so, i'll let it be. sorry lehh.. but anyways, i my suggestion is that you copy the text you want to read and paste it in the notepad and then read. sorry for the trouble. thanks for tagging me back. really sorry for the small font, hurting your eyes. nope, no reasons why your name is totodile. i had said, it's just random names. well, ok, charizard you shall be. haha..gina: nvm lah. haha.. it's okay(:corrina: i never link you meh?! D:Labels: friends sucks sometimes
♥ the world will turn WILD.
3:35 PM
